Clifton Bridge
by Cuthbert72
Summary: Rendered A/U by Skins PURE. Sid and Cassie have been in a close relationship ever since their return from New York 11 months ago, but for the last two weeks, something has been upsetting Cassie. Sid is concerned about her.


Sid had been in a strong, stable, loving relationship with Cassie ever since he had brought her back from New York last year. Their mutual love had inspired them to take their futures more seriously and retake their A2 year. Their improved exam results had gained both of them places at York University. They appeared to be a blissfully happy couple, ideally suited to each other. Cassie did have occasional episodes when she seemed depressed, but some gentle love and emotional support from Sid usually brought the smile back to her lovely face.

For the last couple of weeks however, Sid's expressions of love did nothing to lift her spirits. She seemed to be keeping a very dark secret from him. He was really worried about her. When they met, she seemed ill at ease. He could not figure out quite what was wrong. Every time he asked her what was upsetting her, she changed the subject. He knew that it was serious because her usual bright persona was absent and she was often tearful. The fact that he loved her made his anxiety about her more personal. Sid loved Cassie far more than he was able to put into words. To him, she represented everything that was good, fresh, bright and beautiful in this world. In short, she was his inspiration, his reason for living. He was concerned that she might be about to take her own life.

One afternoon, he was on Clifton Down watching birds near the 'Observatory'. He looked along Suspension Bridge Road and saw Cassie walking slowly, with her head down towards the bridge. He put his binoculars away and walked towards her. As he approached her it was plain that she was crying.

"Cass? . . . Oh, Cass! What's the matter?" he asked as he met her.

"Nothing, Sid." said Cassie tearfully. "Nothing that anybody can help me with."

"Where are you going?" asked Sid. "because if my guess is right, I've got to stop you."

"I'm going to the bridge." said Cassie. "Then I won't trouble you anymore."

"Cass!" said Sid, almost panicking. He stood in front of Cassie. "I don't know what's up with you, but you haven't been yourself lately. When I ask you what's the matter, you change the subject. You're frightening me! You did say that sharing your worries with me made them easier to bear."

"I know I said that." said Cassie. "Sharing what's on my mind now won't help."

"Throwing yourself off the Bridge won't help either." said Sid. "That would create more problems and you really would break my heart. Try me."

"You might leave me if I tell you." said Cassie

"Nothing you say will make me go away." said Sid. "You mean too much to me. Anyway, I thought we agreed that we wouldn't have secrets. You've been keeping this one for a couple of weeks. Let's sit down somewhere. We need to talk."

Sid guided Cassie away from the road and walked with her up towards the 'observatory'. They found a park bench and sat down. Sid sat on Cassie's left.

"Alright!" said Cassie as they sat down. She took a deep breath. "I know Mum and Dad have taken me for granted since Reuben arrived, but I've always thought of them as a sort of emotional 'safety net' when things went wrong. They've always helped when I was in real trouble. I thought they'd always be together."

"What's happened?" said Sid gently.

"Two weeks ago," said Cassie. "I got a postcard from Mum. She's left Dad and moved to Edinburgh. She's taken Reuben with her. I don't know what to do, Sid. There's nothing left to be happy about. I'm so helpless. I've no-one to turn to."

Cassie began to cry again.

"Oh Cassie!" said Sid, putting his arm across Cassie's shoulders and cuddling her. "I'm sorry to hear that, but it doesn't have to be the end of the world. I know it seems very bad now, but you will get through it. I did."

"W-what do you mean, you did?" said Cassie.

"The morning after we should have had our first date," said Sid. "Mum left Dad. That really hurt. Then last year, Dad died. That was even worse, because that was the night I thought I'd lost you. I felt emotionally numb. Things did get better after a while."

"Yes, but you're a boy." said Cassie. "You don't feel emotions the same way as a girl."

"You're wrong." said Sid. "Boys do feel emotions, but we try not to express them."

"That must make things worse." said Cassie. "Bottling up your feelings doesn't do any good."

"S'pose." said Sid. "But not showing my feelings did help me to try to ignore them in the hope that they would subside. It wasn't easy. When Dad died, I had no-one to turn to. I thought you'd dumped me for Lachlan. I was so lonely. I felt life wasn't worth living. That's when I got mixed up with Michelle."

"You must be emotionally stronger than me." said Cassie. "That's why you can overcome your feelings."

"All the more reason for me to be able to help you, Cass." said Sid. "Also I don't want to lose you forever.

"How could you help me?" asked Cassie.

"I could be your 'safety net'." said Sid. "I love you Cass. I really, truly fucking love you. Please let me try to help you."

"You think I'm worth it?" asked Cassie.

"Oh Cass! Don't put yourself down." said Sid. "You're special. You mean everything to me. There's nothing I wouldn't do to help you. As I just said, I love you. You should have told me when you got the card. It would have saved us both a couple of weeks of worry. You were brooding and I was worried about you. When I saw you going to the bridge, that really frightened me."

"Alright, Sid." said Cassie. "I'll let you help me because I love you. You're already helping me by talking to me. You are so sweet. I don't know why I thought talking to you about this would drive you away."

Sid cuddled Cassie and leant over towards her. He kissed her cheek. She smiled sweetly, embraced Sid and kissed him.

"Let's sit here like this for a few minutes." said Cassie. "Your arm across my shoulders feels so reassuring. It's so nice. I feel wanted."

She dried her eyes and repaired her makeup. They got up from the bench and walked hand in hand back down to the road.

"You should always feel that way when I'm with you, Cass." said Sid. "I love you."

"and I love you too." said Cassie. "You're so comforting."

"Let's go to the bridge anyway and enjoy the view." said Sid. "I want it to be a happy place, Cass."

"OK!" said Cassie. "It'll be lovely going across it with you, Sid."

Sid and Cassie walked slowly, hand in hand along the north side of the bridge. When they reached the point where the suspension chains were lowest, they stopped and looked down the gorge. They spent a little time watching a small motor cruiser making its way slowly up the river. Sid turned to face Cassie, embraced her, gently caressed her back and kissed her.

"Oh, wow! Sid!" said Cassie. "You're so lovely. You show me sympathy and calm me down, then you take me to the middle of the bridge and kiss me as if you really mean it. I do so love you."

"I always really mean it when I kiss you." said Sid. "God only knows where I'd be without you, Cass."

They walked to the Western end of the bridge, crossed the road and re-crossed the bridge. Once again, they stopped in the middle, embraced and kissed each other. After this, they enjoyed the view upstream towards the city.

"I love this view." said Sid. "It's so busy, yet so peaceful."

"I know what you mean." said Cassie. "I go to Brandon Hill when I want to think. That's the same. You can hear the hubbub of the city, but it's so tranquil there."

"Look at that little boat." said Sid as he saw the little motor cruiser continuing its gradual progress up the river. Something about it made him get his binoculars out from his bag and take a closer look at the boat.

"What's so interesting about that boat?" asked Cassie.

"Something struck me as slightly unusual about it." said Sid. "Wow! That's Effy Stonem, Tony's sister, and she's with her Freddy and his two friends. JJ's driving it and Cook's lying down on his back, smoking. Freddy and Effy are looking up at the bridge, holding hands."

Sid put away his binoculars and waved his arm above his head. Freddy saw him and waved back.

"Effy and Cook have been missing all Summer." said Cassie. "I wonder where she got the boat."

"Cook probably had something to do with that." said Sid. "I think those two have had an interesting Summer. Freddy must have been worried about Effy. He loves her."

Cassie turned to Sid, embraced him, put her head on his shoulder and started crying again. Sid was somewhat taken aback. He wasn't expecting tears. He gently held her and stroked her back until she was able to speak.

"Why the tears, Cass?" said Sid consolingly as Cassie's sobs subsided.

"Oh Sid!" said Cassie, still sounding tearful. "I thought about Effy and Freddy when you said they were on the boat. When you mentioned Freddy being worried about Effy; it made me cry." She paused briefly. "Anyway, I'm sorry I frightened you. You must have been really worried about me. I should have talked to you earlier. You're so understanding."

"Whatever happens, I'll always be here for you." said Sid. "Never forget that."

"I won't." said Cassie. "You were certainly here for me this afternoon. I don't know whether I would have actually gone through with it, but I'm glad you stopped me."

"So am I!" said Sid. "When I realised where you were going, I knew I had to do something, and the only thing that I could think of was somehow preventing you reaching the bridge."

"Thanks for that." said Cassie. "I feel calmer now."

Sid once again embraced and kissed Cassie. He appreciated that she was still emotionally fragile and needed all the love and support he could give her.

"We need some coffee after all that." said Sid. "There's got to be a coffee shop in Clifton."

Twenty minutes later, Sid and Cassie entered the Clifton Caffè Nero, bought a grande latté each and sat down by the window.

"I'm glad I met you today." said Cassie. "I know I've been preoccupied for the last couple of weeks. Thanks to you, I feel much calmer now. Thanks for putting up with me."

"That's alright, Cass." said Sid. "Because I love you I'll always stand by you. Never try to face problems on your own again. That doesn't do any good."

"Thank you Sid." said Cassie. "Incidentally, what were you doing on Clifton Down with a pair of binoculars this afternoon?"

"I was doing some bird watching." said Sid. "I'd heard that there was a pair of peregrine falcons in the gorge. That's why I had Dad's old binoculars with me. I wouldn't have known who was on the boat without them."

"You mentioning Freddy and Effy was what made me cry when we were on the bridge." said Cassie. "Freddy's Mum killed herself and Effy's Dad's walked out. They've only got each other now. In fact, when I think about the lives of our friends in the boat, my problems seem less important. I should have mentioned it to you sooner. You've put things back into proportion."

"I'm glad you've come to see it that way, Cass." said Sid. "What frightens me is what might have happened if I hadn't been there. I can't imagine life without you. I think I was meant to be there to stop you. I'm so pleased I did."

"So am I now." said Cassie, smiling. "Laying alone at night fretting about Mum and Dad didn't help, but now I realise you've always been there for me. I should be able to rely on you. You haven't let me down since we got back together in Chris's house just before last year's exams. You even came all the way to New York to find me. In future, I'll always let you know when I'm worried about something."

"You do that." said Sid. "It's no good letting things spin around in your head until you think there's no way out. You fret, I'm worried about you, and things just build up. That's what happened this afternoon. Oh, and it's lovely to see that smile again."

"Thank you, Sid." said Cassie. "It's lovely to feel able to smile. You've rescued me yet again. We love each other and we're together. That's what matters."

"I think we're meant to be together, Cassie." said Sid. "Something always happens to bring us back to each other."

They embraced and kissed.

"I'm much happier when I'm with you, Sid." said Cassie. "I don't want to be alone tonight. I'd only be worrying about what might have happened. Please could you spend the night with me."

"Cassie." said Sid, gently. "I know you don't like to inconvenience people. That's why you went to live in that little bed-sit on your own, but because of what nearly happened this afternoon, I'd love you to stay with us so that you're not alone at night. We'll be living together when we go to York anyway."

"Won't I be imposing on your Mum?" said Cassie. "It's more work for her if there is an extra person in the house."

"Don't worry about that." said Sid. "My Mum adores you. She's missed you since you moved out. She says you're good for me."

"How?" asked Cassie.

"She says I've changed for the better since I've been with you." said Sid. "She also says that I'm more helpful, considerate, friendly and tidier than I was before I met you."

"Do you think you've changed?" asked Cassie.

"Well, I'm a lot more confident." said Sid. "I'm more comfortable being me. I'm no longer the timid bumbling little nerd I used to be. I'm more optimistic. I now know that life is worth living and my fianceé is the most beautiful young lady in Bristol."

Sid kissed Cassie's cheek. She blushed.

Oh! Wow! Sid!" exclaimed Cassie. "You're so lovely. What a totally wonderful thing to say about me. I'm not sure it's true."

"Don't belittle yourself." said Sid. "You are amazingly beautiful. I still feel like singing when I see you. When I'm with you, I feel so happy and yet so relaxed. It's a wonderful feeling. I love you so much, Cass."

Cassie's lovely face lit up with her beautiful radiant smile. Her eyes sparkled. Her sunny outlook on life was coming back. Sid embraced and kissed her. They felt really thankful that they were both still alive.

After they had finished their coffee, Sid and Cassie went to Sid's house where Cassie spent the night secure in Sid's loving arms. Following this encounter near the Clifton Suspension Bridge, the emotional bond between Sid and Cassie had strengthened to the point where it seemed unbreakable. Cassie never again thought of suicide as an escape from problems. She had now realised that she could always depend on Sid for love, moral support and emotional security. Sid, for his part knew that Cassie was destined to be his lifetime companion. At last, he felt that his life had a purpose and he was truly contented.


End file.
